Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Freefall

Falling down an abyss
Bottom unknown 
Falling in a blackness so thick 
Screams cannot penetrate it

A hand catches.

A faint suspended hope 
A momentary lecherous security
Before the fall begins

A hand catches.

A frantic hope
A fool’s grasp is never secure
Falling again

A hand catches.

A daring hope
A willful hand lets go at whim 
Air rushes. Screams unheard. 

A hand catches.

A hope that declares itself nonexistent
Exists to declare. 
Hoping is all hope knows to do.
A cautious grasp

This time she lets go. 


Christina De Silva 
14 November 2009 

Leaves

Daddy, oh Daddy? 
Why do the leaves fall? 
Where do they go?
Are they angry with the tree?
They look so happy to fall 
Look at them leaping from 
The branches they once clung to! 

Daddy, oh Daddy? 
Why do some fall sooner than the others? 
Why do they fall at all Daddy? 
Why do they change colour? 
I really don’t understand. 

No my love, they aren’t angry
They aren’t happy either 
The leaves change colour as they grow older
And they have to fall 
To make room for the baby leaves
Some fall sooner because it’s time for a new leaf,
Or simply because they just don’t fit.
They don’t really leave the tree
They fall to the ground at the roots
And become one with the soil
That nourishes the tree.
It’s a whole new adventure for these leaves
Jumping off their comfort zone
You wouldn’t want a life without adventure, would you my pet? 


Christina De Silva 
12 November 2009 

Waking Up

The alarm went off at six o’clock. It had an insidiously annoying tone which went right through your head and woke you up in a few seconds. Still very drowsy with sleep she groped around under her pillows and finding her iPod hit ‘snooze’. The ringing stopped and in the silence that ensued she vaguely heard the sound of birds tripping over the highest notes with unimaginable ease, making impossibly intricate, yet somehow simple melodies. She turned and hugged a pillow, pulling the warm quilt tight around her, snuggling down deeper in its familiar warmth. Shifting sunshine through the glass balcony door beside her bed fell on her cheek, leaving traces of warmth, a peachy smudge. She thought of him. A happy smile brightened the peachy smudge as she unconsciously whispered his name, savoring the sound. 

Suddenly she remembered. She opened her eyes. She struggled to breathe. The pain she felt was as if though someone held her ribs in a vice which tightened, splintering bones, puncturing her lungs. 

‘This isn’t working out…I’m just not happy with you…I want to end this…’ 

How she regretted those careless words contained in the impulsive text she sent him the night before! She blinked hard, kidding herself that she wouldn’t miss him. A tear escaped. She sat up in bed, her head throbbing. Suddenly the sunshine seemed cold and indifferent, the quilt suffocating. 

I’d rather be a little pissed off at your seemingly indifferent ways, a little discontent at being left alone than being completely miserable by not having you as my very own. 

She realized that she liked him way more than she had thought she did. 


Christina De Silva 
25 July 2009 

Love, my emaciation

Every time I fall 
Every time I trust 
Every time I let my defenses down 
Im hurt 
Heartbroken 
Crushed 
Wounded 
Like a soldier behind enemy lines 
In an infinite war 
Shot while a white flag flutters in his face 
Like a turtle who has been coaxed out of its shell 
Frightened and threatened 
It will retreat to the dark recesses it calls home 
Not reappearing…for a long time 
And only when it really needs food 
I don’t want 
Hugs 
Kisses 
I want your time 
Is that so hard? I thought you care? 
Your time is my senses 
Without time spent with me, making me feel you care 
I am blind to the charm of your smiles 
I am deaf to your declarations of adoration 
I am insensitive to the tenderness in your caresses 
I can not smell the sweetness of your perfume 
I can not taste your lips on mine 
Diamonds are dust 
Roses and rocks 
I don’t care what you give me 
You can be a pauper 
But if you give me your time 
I will love you like a king 
You ask my why I don’t respond to your hugs 
A mannequin in your arms 
I’m protecting myself 
I don’t want to base my affection on 
Hugs and kisses which can be empty 
Devoid of all emotion, stemming from lust 
Mannequins have scars, did you know that? 
From all the people who handled it rough 
It comes to pieces if you handle it wrong 
‘I wont come see you, I miss you’ 
I laugh at the paradox of it while tears spring into my eyes 
What is this ludicrous farce we call love? 
That has the power to bring a woman sobbing to her knees? 
The power to ruin the greatest man? 
And like an eagle in flight 
Be the wind man and woman soar on? 
The true tragedy of life 
Is not sorrow or suffering 
It is that we have an imagination 
The power to think and illusion ourselves 
Every tear makes me stronger 
Every heartbreak, number 
Every disillusionment makes perception sharper 
Very soon I will be 
A romantic, wounded soul hiding 
Within an armored , numbed body 
What will happen when true love 
Falls on his knees before me? 
What will this deaf, blind, insensitive carcass do? 
Love, my emaciation. 


Christina De Silva 
13 July 2009 

Butterflies

The little girl danced capriciously into the lawn 
And twirled, her hair glistening in the morning sun, 
Her radiant smile in harmony with her laughing eyes 
She stopped. Motionless, with a look of intense concentration. 
She had spotted a butterfly. 
Enraptured by its graceful beauty 
Her light feet mirrored its erratic flight. 
Its blue-tipped wings evasively, out of reach 
A butterfly coloured in brilliant red flitted past 
And with a gasp of wonder she started the chase 
But soon found her dithering between the two. 

Very soon, several butterflies flitted around her 
Following their own pursuits; 
A whiff of fragrance, a soft petal… 
Utterly oblivious of the confusion 
The delicate fluttering of their wings 
Whipped up in her. 
She ran after one, then another, 
Her eager hands closing a second too late. 
Finally, hot and exhausted, she sat 
On the grass dejectedly. 
She closed her eyes. 
A playful breeze ruffled her hair 
Cooling her hot cheeks, tickled by a strand of hair. 
The incessant tickling drew her attention 
And she discerned tiny feather-like pricks. 
She opened her eyes. 
In the soft evening glow she saw 
To her intense delight 
A butterfly with liquid wings 
Perched with calm audacity on her cheek. 


Christina De Silva 
02 July 2009 

Tell Me

What do you do when it hurts inside? 
What do you do when you cant talk to the people close to you 
Cause you just cant put the pain to words 
And you’re scared they’d scorn the pain real and alive to you? 
What do you do when you cant tell people how much you really need them 
For fear that it would overwhelm them and walk away 
Like people tend to do and leave you a crumpled mess 
Cause you stood with their support? 
What do you when you have no choice but to 
Fight the attraction simply cause you’re scared? 
What do you do when people don’t understand why 
A needle stabs like a sword? 
What do you do when you plead with your eyes 
But they only see your face? 
What do you when pride wont bend your knees 
Cause you’ve refused to acknowledge His presence when the going was good? 
You think you can handle it, you think you can figure it out 
But you cant 
And you’re lost 
A bleeding soul trapped inside a body ruled by pride 
Pride, man’s crown and also his noose. 
Tell me, what do you do? 
What do I do? 
Like a porcelain doll with a dazzling smile painted on its face 
A flawless face to hide the hollow darkness within 
Cold ceramic, numb to the pain, its own and others 
Infuriating them with that never changing smile 
Cold ceramic defenceless, vulnerable to every blow, however slight 
Shattering. 
But can ceramic bleed? 


Christina De Silva 
02 July 2009 

Trapped!

A caterpillar imprisoned in a glass jar 
Would be quite content 
As is it its nature to be 
Satisfied with a plentiful supply of leaves to munch 
And not being very adventurous and demanding 
It would perceive no difference 
Save the absence of the dangers of the wild 
Which it would be oblivious of 
Sheltered and naïve as it is. 
But what happens when this 
Fuzzy green caterpillar, 
Rather plain and uninteresting to the eye, 
Wraps itself in a cocoon and 
Metamorphosises 
Into a breathtaking butterfly, 
Alluring in its vivid colours? 
What happens to this butterfly, 
Fluttering so gracefully, unconscious of its charm? 
Its romantic soul, etched in liquid lines 
On its tissue-like wings, 
Yearns to be free. 

Will it exhaust itself with futile attempts; 
To break free of an invisible barrier; 
Synthetic material incomprehensible to natural cognition; 
And drop dead, within its glass prison? 

Will it perch complacently on a leaf; 
Barely managing to stretch its wings in its confinement; 
And once let loose 
Fall. Since it never learned to fly? 

Or, will it bid its time, 
Wings trembling with the passion to fly, 
And defy the hand that held it captive, 
Flying away never to come back…? 


Christina De Silva
04 July 2009